she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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