Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
