i can't believe i had my finger in that
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
