It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
