Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
