Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
