please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
