I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
