Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
