ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
