I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
