they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
