I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
