i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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