if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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