Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
