Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
