ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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