I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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