stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
