Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
