Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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