Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
