What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
