I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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