I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
