it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
