Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
where are my eyebrows?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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