nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
