I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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