he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
