Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
