so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
