She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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