I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize