I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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