Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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