I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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