Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
