at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
