shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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