I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Text me some of your sweat
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
