We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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