You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
