come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
