that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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