3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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