Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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