Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
