the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
