i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
