She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
