I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
