Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
