i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
