In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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