I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
