He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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